Kids...kids...kids

I haven't consistently blogged in a while...I know, I'm sorry. But as my kids are getting older and crazier, I feel that it is going to be necessary to keep record! (maybe more for my sanity than for the kids memories) Because I haven't been keeping up today's blog is going to be a little heavier and not very thematic...well, actually the stories in this post will all follow the same theme of
"My kids are CRAZY!"

Kallie:

My sweet baby girl is now 14 months old, and she is a little heifer. I say this with all of the love and honesty a mother can have. She is going to be the death of me. I think she is even going to give Josiah a run for his money...She is into EVERYTHING. She eats so much cardboard I am not sure how she still poops...you would think that it would clog up, but I guess it is all the fiber keeping her regular:) Mom has had the same bookshelf of kids books in her house for years...it has survived 4 other grandchildren and countless visitors. It has not, however, been able to withstand the Kallie Kat. She has eaten chunks out of just about every book. And boy does she have the eagle eye. She can spot the tiniest speck of paper, dirt, rocks, or grass on the floor/ground and it is in her mouth before you even see her move.

Kallie's newest past time is climbing. She climbs up EVERYTHING. Her favorite things to climb are the kitchen chairs. She likes to sit like a big girl, and stand like a bigger girl, and climb onto the middle of the table like a bad girl. A few nights ago I walked into the kitchen and found her sitting in the middle of the table. Just sitting. SO proud. I told her no ma'am and promptly put her in the floor. Before I got into the living room she was back in the center of the table. This happened three or four times. Me spanking her in between each, and even taking her to a complete other room in the house. The last couple of times I didn't even turn away. I sat her in the floor and watched as she promptly, and quite proudly, climbed right back up. She is evil...finally a swat right to thigh was enough to convince her to stay off of the table for the night. (she was back up there tonight)

When she is not eating cardboard or climbing to new heights, she is aggravating her brother. Now, most of the time he deserves it, but she is downright ornery. We have, on multiple occasions, caught her throwing herself down and crying when she thought we weren't looking. She thinks that we will then get onto Kaleb...again, sometimes he deserves it. He is often times guilty of taking whatever toy she is playing with and claiming it as his own. She, naturally, begins screaming, and we get onto Kaleb. We then ask him to play with something else and give her her toy back. When he does, and we turn to walk away, she drops the toy they were arguing over and tries to get his consolation toy. EVIL.

With all of her crazy, drama filled, antics she is still a sweet angel baby. She is so snugly! I'm not sure that there is much better of a feeling than the one I get when I come in the door after work. "mamamam" with arms up high can make any bad day better. She also gives the best kisses. They are not nearly as slobbery as you would expect:) While she has been a little slower to actually say words, don't let her fool you into thinking she isn't smart. She knows a lot of words and understands a lot more. She just chooses wisely how smart she wants to let everyone know she is...like any good, sneaky con artist, she thinks she has us all fooled!

Some fun things Kallie can say/do:
-shake her head no when asked if she wants me to spank her hiney.
-run super fast when I say that I am going to spank her hiney.
-say no, uh oh, whoa, shhh
-take her diaper off within two seconds of it being uncovered
-climb the stairs to Kaleb's bed



Kaleb:
Kaleb is 2 3/4 years old. He is tall for his age and talks like an old man. Sometimes I just stare at him and laugh. The things he comes up with are hysterical. The following are a few excerpts from the last few days:

At the dinner table I had asked Kaleb to eat a few more bites of his steak fingers. He is big on making plans, so I try to play on that a lot. So, I came up with a number of bites he needed to eat in order to get some dessert. I then asked him if that was a good plan. He said ok, but then didn't end up following through with the plan, and thus did not get dessert. Later that night, while I was changing him into his pajamas, he asked if he could have a piece of candy. I told him that we were putting on pajamas right now, then I would think about giving him a piece. He said, "Mom, how bout I put my clothes in the hamper and then you give me some candy? Is that a plan?" I said that I thought that would work and off he went with his dirty clothes. When he came back he said, "mom, i put my clothes up, now can i have some candy? That was our plan. It is a much better plan that your plan from dinner...". thanks...

A few months ago Kaleb started getting scared in his room at night. So, we gave him a flashlight to sleep with. Tonight, he called me into his room not long after going to bed. He said, "mom, I can't find my dinosaur". I walked over and took his hand with the flashlight in it to help him look. That's when I noticed that the dinosaur was in his other hand. So, I turned his flashlight to that hand and said, "sweetie, there's your dinosaur in your other hand." He said, "oh, huh. sorry" and went back to sleep.

When getting ready to go over to Mom and Dad's, I had told Kaleb to put on his rubber boots. He said, "ok mom. I would love to put those boots on. They are amazing. They will look so amazing on my feet. They are fireman boots Mom. They are amazing. I love them."

With all of the fun a two year old brings, comes a lot of terrible...and a lot of the word no. Kaleb has just recently become very fond of telling me that he is not going to do whatever it is I am asking him and even more fond of telling me no and walking away. I have become fond of counting to three. I now see this action in a whole new light. It isn't just a chance for the kid to decide to do the right thing and avoid the punishment that comes with the number three, but it also gives me a chance to think and talk myself out of running away forever:) And trust me, there are times (many per day) that I use the counting more for myself than for him. Luckily, he is just scared enough that he doesn't want to know what comes after the number three, that he usually complies after I say two...

After having to use the counting method too many times in one night I switch to the go to your room method. The other night I had had it with him. He was hitting his sister for the umpteenth time and I sent him to his room. As I followed him through the door and told him to sit in his chair, he turned to me, and in the calmest voice, said, "mom, shut the door and go set the timer so I can get up and play." I almost passed out from holding my breath in an effort to not scream at him. He was completely unfazed by this punishment.

Fairly certain I have met my match in him and Kallie is showing the early signs of being worse...in other words, it is highly possible that I will admit myself into an insane asylum in the very near future...until then, I will try to keep my sanity by sharing my woes with all of you (even if the only people reading this are those that get the stories firsthand...)